11/22/2011

“A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home.”
 -Chinese proverb

When I Grow Up

Some kids want to be astronauts others want to be movie stars, and while exploring space seemed pretty cool and who doesn't want to be rich and famous, I always just wanted to be my mom.  My mom wasn't the "cool" mom who let us stay up all night, she wasn't the mom who spoiled her kids her rotten and she definitely wasn't the mom who let us do whatever we wanted, she was so much better than that. 
My mom was the mom who picked us up from school everyday, asked how our day was and was genuinely interested to find out.  My mom was the mom who made every birthday extremely special.  From carnivals to tea party's, each one was special in its own way.  My mom was the mom who went all out for each and every Holiday.  To this day Christmas is my favorite time of year, not for the gifts, but for time spent with family and looking at my mother's beautiful Christmas decorations.  Her home is truly enchanted this time of year.  My mom was the mom who made us lunches until we graduated high school, even when we told her we no longer at a school.  My mom was the mom who came to every sporting event, sat on the booster club, kept the score at baseball games and worked at the snack shack.  My mom was the mom who was apart of every aspect of our lives, from our first skinned knee to our first crush, she knew everything about us.
My mom was the mom who kissed boo boos, wiped snotty noses, held cold rags to warm foreheads, wiped tears, play boardgames, made crafts, sang to us, danced with us, encouraged us to reach for the stars, made us feel safe, pushed us to get outside our comfort zone, worked hard, played harder, and loved us for who we are. 
Oh how blessed I am to have a mother like mine and how blessed Bell is to have her as a grandmother.  If I can be half the mom for Bellamie that my mom was for me, she will be one lucky girl.   I can only hope I become the mom that Bellamie hopes to be one day when she grows up.

11/16/11

"A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary"
Dorothy Canfield

Mommy needs her beauty rest....

The first weeks we didn't get any sleep.  Bellamie liked to be held, thus we took turns holding her on our chest, while we sat in the lazy boy.  Then a good friend came over one night to give us a bit of a break and while we slept she tried propping Bell on her side and she actually slept!!   Between casts on her legs and her surgery we still had many sleepless nights, but at least she was sleeping on her own!  We were finally in a good routine, when she got her last cast off and was put in corrective shoes.  Now, while the shoes were a huge improvement from the cast, she could only sleep on her back and we were back to square one!!!  Then one night, desperate to get her to sleep longer than a few hours at a time, we tried her in her infant swing and she slept through the entire night!!  Between the calming motion and the support for her feet it was just what she needed.  At the time I worried that she would want to sleep in her swing forever, but once again she surprised me and not only did she not want to even be rocked to sleep, she was falling asleep totally on her own in the crib!!  Total success!
Once again she was sleeping through the night until a few days ago.  After putting her down at 8 she is up, fussy and very ready for a bottle between 11 and 12.  Now you see, Bellamie spits up a lot... like a lot!! So we only do 4 ounces of formula at a time, which was fine until recently.  I can actually hear her little tummy growling when she wakes in the night and she always goes right back down after the midnight snack but mommy can't always fall back so easily! And trust me I need my beauty rest!!
So my question today is this... When did you start solids?  Did it help with spitting up?  Did they sleep better at night?  Did they seem more full?

Breast or Formula

Bell was only a few weeks when I got my first blocked breast duct.  By day two I was desperate.  Everyone told me just to keep feeding her and eventually it would go away, but eventually wasn't soon enough.  So I took to the Internet for advice.  First I tried a warm bath, which was quite relaxing but didn't help the block.  Next I tried warm cabbage leaves, which did nothing but make my breast stink!  As the desperation grew, I was just about willing to try anything... Including "dangling your breast over the baby to have them suck from a different angle", sound crazy?  Like I said I was desperate!!  So I took little Bell into our bedroom, laid her on the bed, closed the bedroom and dangled.  Of course not two seconds later my husband walked into the room and said, "What the hell are you doing?"
Needless to say, breastfeeding was never easy for me.  Because Bellamie was on iv's, fluid, oxygen and antibiotics, I wasn't able to feed her right away in the hospital, which lead to my milk taking longer to come in.  And several blocked ducts and sore nipples later, a good friend finally convinced me to try nipple shields, which definitely helped.  But not long after, Bellamie had her surgery which was just too much stress on both of us, and she lost a significant amount of weight, which lead to supplementing with formula.  It didn't take long until Bellamie was no longer interested in breastfeeding and we were solely on formula. 
While I had always liked the concept of breastfeeding, being the life source for your baby and the connection between mom and her little one, I have to admit, I wasn't sad to see it end and even somewhat relieved.  I guess not all women are cut out for breastfeeding. 
Did you breastfeed your babies?  Did you love it or struggle with it? 

11/10/11

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?  ~Milton Berle

Hot Topic- Schedules and a "typical" day

I dont belive there is such a thing as a typical day with a baby but the best advice I was given by my dear friend, was to get Bellamie on a schedule. Now some people say never to wake a sleeping baby and I was also told it was ok if she had her days and night mixed up, ok with who exactly I wanted to know? Thus, I took my friends advice and woke Bellamie every two hours to eat during the day and let her sleep as long as she wanted at night.  We have come along way since the nights of rotating shifts, as Bellamie slept on our chest, on the lazy boy in the living room and now get a fair amount of sleep, so I am totally on board with the schedule making.  That said, a "typical" day for us goes a little something like this.
Wake up around 7:30 and have a bottle.  Mommy plays with Bellamie a little too much, then is rushed to shower, while she sits in her bouncer.  Then it is time to get ready and put Bell in front of the mirror in her bumboo seat which she loves!  9 am daddy gets home and mommy is starting to get a little frantic because instead of getting ready while Bell is distracted, I record her talking to herself in the mirror, (its just too cute!!) 10 am I leave for work and daddy is on his own!  Bellamie tends to take longer naps during this time, and daddy reads her lots of books, (I know also too cute!) but sometimes I get a fussy baby report and often we chalk it up to her corrective shoes that weigh 1/10th of weight and keep her feet in the same position!  (You would be grumpy too right?!)  3 pm mommy gets home and doesn't put Bell down till bedtime, what can I say I miss her during the day.  We also do a bottle at this time, dinner at 5, watch a show or two while she naps on me, 6 pm another bottle, shoes off at 6:30 and it bath time!!  This is most definitely her favorite time of the day!  A little after 7 we are out of the bath and into jammies, then it is time for another quick snooze while daddy gets ready for bed and mommy watches a show.  A little after 8 one last bottle, then shes down before 8:30 for the night and up anywhere from 3:30 am to 4:30 am a quick bottle and back down till 7:30... then we start all over again!
What is your typical day? Do you believe in a schedule or do you let your little ones call the shots?  Would you wake a sleeping baby?

11/9/11

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one”
Jill Churchill

Sometimes mommys need help

My labor wasn't a typical one, if there is such a thing, but thats a story for another day.  My daughter was born with a birth defect, (oh how I hate that word) clubfoot.  Because she was having some breathing problems and a possible infection I was only allowed to hold her for a few precious moments before she was taken to the nursery.  I am sure someone told me, at the time, that she had a clubfoot but I was exhausted after giving birth, as I assume most women are, and fell asleep shortly after.  It wasn't until 3 am, when I woke in a panic, that I told my husband I wanted to see the baby now!  A fainting spell and wheelchair ride later, I was in the nursery looking at my precious baby girl.  She was just perfect even with all the ivs, but gasp, what was wrong with her foot.  With tears in my eyes I looked at my husband and asked what was wrong with her.  "Remember, she was born with a clubfoot?"  No I didn't remember!!  Now dont get me wrong I was incredibily thankful for a healthy baby girl and clubfoot is by no means life threatening, but I was still very upset.  They explained to us that she would have to be put in a cast right away, followed by weekly castings and a surgery.  I was devastated.  And though my family and friends were very supportive, I couldnt help being sad, worried and even a little angry.  But somehow we got through those first two months of long weekly trips to the specialist, though it wasnt always easy.  Fast forward to today and many sleepless nights of googling "clubfoot," " or "how to get your baby to sleep" or "why is my hair falling out" only to find myself mortified at all the horror stories.  I just wanted another mother, who had a child with clubfoot to tell me it will be ok; that if sleeping her in swing helps her sleep, let her sleep; that it was ok that breastfeeding didnt work out for us; that I wasnt a bad mom when I couldnt get her to stop crying so I just cried with her; that it was ok to be angry with my husband over nothing as long as he knew I still loved him at the end of the day... all of this lead to me wanting to create a blog... a blog where mommy's can reach out to other mommys, share their stories, their worries, their heartaches and their happy moments.  I hope by sharing my experiences I can help another mommy, or at least make her smile and I hope others will share their stories too because well mommy may know best but sometimes mommy needs a little help!